Nervous System-Focused Potty Training Support
It's 2AM and You're Googling "Why Won't My Child Poop on the Potty"
You're exhausted. You're googling again.
"Potty training refusal 3 year old"
"Toddler having accidents after being trained"
"Child holds poop for days"
"Potty training regression new baby"
"Why is my child afraid of the toilet"
"When to give up on potty training"
You've bought the character underwear. You've done the sticker charts. You've tried the three-day method, the gentle approach, and everything in between. You've read the books. You've followed the Instagram accounts. You've asked in the Facebook groups.
Maybe your child won't poop on the potty. Or they were doing great and suddenly started having daily accidents. Or they're begging to go back to diapers even though they were using the toilet just fine a month ago.
Or maybe you haven't even started yet—but you're terrified to. Because you've heard the horror stories. You've seen your friends post about "potty training hell" and you're thinking: There has to be a better way. I don't want to wing this.
Maybe you're the parent who hired a sleep consultant and it changed your life—and now you're thinking, Can I get that same kind of support for potty training?
(Yes. You absolutely can.)
You're questioning everything. When should you start? Are they ready? What if you mess it up? What if it becomes a power struggle? Your child's preschool has a deadline. Your mother-in-law has opinions. Your partner wants a plan. And you? You just want someone who's done this hundreds of times to walk you through it—step by step—so you don't have to figure it out alone or wonder if you're doing it wrong.
Here's what I need you to hear: Your child isn't broken. You're not failing. And this isn't about sticker charts.
This Is About Your Child's Nervous System
Most potty training approaches focus on behavior—rewards, consequences, timers, schedules. They treat potty training like a skill to be mastered through repetition and motivation.
But here's what they miss: Potty training isn't just a cognitive skill. It's a nervous system milestone.
Using the toilet requires your child to:
Feel safe enough to let go of control
Trust their body's signals when they're dysregulated
Release in a vulnerable position (literally!)
Override the comfort and security of what they've always known
Regulate through a process that can feel scary, uncomfortable, or overwhelming
When your child is holding their poop for days, having accidents after being "fully trained," or melting down at the sight of the toilet, they're not being difficult. They're dysregulated.
And no amount of stickers or bribes can regulate a dysregulated nervous system.
The Signs Your Child Needs Nervous System Support (Not Another Method)
They were doing great... and suddenly regressed:
Having daily accidents after months of success
Asking to go back to diapers or pull-ups
Hiding to poop in their underwear
Holding bowel movements for days at a time
There's fear or anxiety around toileting:
Refusing to sit on the potty or toilet
Crying or having meltdowns about bathroom time
Saying "it hurts" even when nothing is physically wrong
Only pooping in a diaper, at night, or in very specific circumstances
The timing lines up with stress:
Started after a new sibling arrived
Coincided with starting preschool or daycare
Followed a family move, divorce, or other major change
Happened after an illness, medical procedure, or painful bowel movement
Traditional approaches have made it worse:
Reward systems created more pressure and anxiety
"Boot camp" style methods led to refusal and shutdowns
Every time you bring it up, your child shuts down or melts down
You feel like you're in a power struggle neither of you can win
You know something deeper is going on:
Your intuition is telling you this is about more than "readiness"
You sense shame, fear, or control beneath the behavior
Your child's struggles feel emotional, not just physical or developmental
You've ruled out medical issues (constipation, UTI, etc.) but the problem persists
Why My Approach Is Different
I don't do traditional potty training. I don't believe in three-day boot camps or reward charts or power struggles over poop.
I work on a nervous system level.
As a master certified parent coach with specialized training in child-centered play methods (through Play Strong Institute), pediatric sleep, and potty training, I understand that toileting issues are rarely just about the toilet. They're about:
✨ Safety and regulation – Can your child's body feel safe enough to release?
✨ Attachment and control – What does letting go mean for a child who's experienced rupture, change, or uncertainty?
✨ Developmental readiness – Is their nervous system mature enough to handle this transition, even if their body is physically capable?
✨ Emotional processing – What are they communicating through their refusal, withholding, or regression?
I bring together my training in:
Child-centered play methods (Play Strong Institute) to help your child process what they can't verbalize
Nervous system science to understand what's happening beneath the behavior
Attachment and relational work to strengthen the safety and trust that toileting requires
Parent coaching to help YOU regulate through this process (because your nervous system matters too)
Pediatric potty training certification to understand the developmental, physical, and emotional components
This isn't about following a method. This is about understanding your specific child—their temperament, their history, their nervous system—and creating a plan that works with their body and brain, not against it.
What Working With Me Looks Like
We start with understanding, not fixing:
A comprehensive intake where I learn about your child's history, temperament, stressors, and toileting patterns
Assessment of nervous system regulation, attachment security, and developmental readiness
Identification of what's really happening beneath the behavior
I create a nervous system-focused plan that might include:
Play-based processing work to help your child release fear, shame, or anxiety around toileting
Regulation strategies to help their body feel safe enough to let go
Attachment repair if toileting has become a battleground in your relationship
Parent coaching to help you stay regulated and connected through the process
Referrals to medical providers (pediatric GI, pelvic floor therapists, etc.) if needed
You get ongoing support:
Regular check-ins to adjust the plan as things shift
Coaching through regressions, setbacks, and breakthroughs
Someone who believes in your child and your family—even when you're losing hope
This Might Be For You If...
💔 You're tired of methods that make you and your child feel worse
💔 You've been told "just be consistent" but consistency hasn't worked
💔 Your child's potty struggles feel emotional, not just behavioral
💔 You're navigating regression after a major life change
💔 You've tried everything and you're out of ideas
💔 You know your child needs more than rewards and timers
💔 You're dealing with withholding, refusal, or extreme anxiety
💔 You sense this is about control, safety, or attachment—not defiance
💔 You're desperate for someone who gets it and won't judge you
What Parents Are Saying
"We'd been in a power struggle for eight months. Eight. Months. Within two weeks of working with her, my son pooped on the potty for the first time without tears. I cried."
"She helped me see that my daughter wasn't being stubborn—she was scared. Once I understood that, everything shifted. We got our connection back."
"I thought we'd tried everything. But no one had ever talked to me about his nervous system or what was happening in his body. Finally, someone understood."
"After our second baby was born, my son completely regressed. I felt like a failure. She didn't judge me, didn't give me a script—she helped me understand what he was communicating and how to help him feel safe again."
"I can't believe how much shame I was carrying. She coached ME as much as she supported my daughter. I needed that."
You Don't Have To Keep Googling at 2AM
If you're reading this, you're probably at the end of your rope.
You've tried the methods. You've read the books. You've compared your child to every other kid at playgroup and wondered what you're doing wrong.
But here's the truth: You're not doing anything wrong. Your child just needs a different kind of support.
You deserve to feel confident again. Your child deserves to feel safe in their body. And you both deserve a path forward that doesn't involve power struggles, shame, or endless accidents.
I offer a free 20-minute consultation where we'll talk about what's happening, what you've tried, and whether nervous system-focused potty support is the right fit for your family.
No judgment. No pressure. Just someone who understands—and who has helped hundreds of families through this exact struggle.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Not at all. I work with children ages 18 months through 6 years. Many of the families I work with have older children (4, 5, 6) who are struggling with withholding, regression, or persistent accidents. It's never too late to address the nervous system piece.
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Most traditional approaches focus on behavior modification—rewards, timers, consequences. If you've tried those and they haven't worked, it's likely because the root issue is nervous system regulation, not motivation or compliance. This approach is completely different.
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Yes! I have extensive experience supporting neurodivergent children, children with sensory processing differences, and children with developmental delays. My background in nervous system coaching means I understand how to adapt strategies.
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Maybe. Sometimes that's the right call, but not always. I'll help you determine whether your child needs time, support, or a different approach—and I'll give you a clear path forward either way.
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I always recommend ruling out medical causes first (constipation, UTI, anatomical issues, etc.). If we discover something that needs medical attention, I'll help you connect with the right providers. I work alongside your child's healthcare team, not instead of them.
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Every child is different, but most families start seeing shifts within 3-7 days. Some children need a few days of support; others need several months, especially if there's been trauma, significant regression, or longstanding patterns. We will determine which camp your family falls into together.
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I get it. Many parents come to me with skeptical partners. What I've found is that when parents see their child relax, regulate, and start making progress, the "why" matters less. I'm happy to talk with both caregivers to explain the approach and answer questions.